Skinny Dipping

email humor---


An elderly man in Louisiana had owned a large farm for several years.
He had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple, and peach trees.
One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.
As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.
One of the women shouted to him, 'we're not coming out until you leave!'
The old man frowned, 'I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked.'
Holding the bucket up he said, 'I'm here to feed the alligator.'

Some old men can still think fast.

OK....HERE IS HOW TO FIX THE ECONOMY

This is simple...or is it?

Give the bottom 50% of taxpayers all the money. Stop screwing around with special interest this and that.

Will they save it or spend it? My guess is spend.

Their spending will take care of many problems.

Global leaders race the clock IMF confident governments will act in time to avert meltdown

There may be some buying opportunities if we can make this work.

Where to invest now?

....was over at Ed Cone's blog and posted the following---

Ed,

My two cents is to buy at current prices.

My opinion is to buy where the blood is freely flowing in the streets....

BBT, FITB, FCNCA at higher percentages of basket for financials

WB, C for lower percentages of basket for financials

FHM, FRE for fun money of basket for financials

Consider selling/writing options ...perhaps calls that are two months out and two strikes above current...and naked puts that are at your comfort level to take delivery of more stock.

No investment advice offered...simply for fun, but sorta points to what I am doing in small steps.

Good luck,

Marshall

With the current dividends, the above list and options sold...I believe one can grow wealth. What do others think?

geez...th0ught I was going to give up blogging... < :-) >

THE BROKEN FENCE

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House, one from New Jersey, another from Tennessee and the third from Florida. They go with a White House official to examine the fence.

The Florida contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. 'Well', he says, 'I figure the job will run about $900: $400 for materials, $400 for my crew and $100 profit for me.'

The Tennessee contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, 'I can do this job for $700: $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100 profit for me.'

The New Jersey contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, '$2,700'

The official, incredulous, says, 'You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?'

The New Jersey contractor whispers back, '$1000 for me, $1000 for you, and we hire the guy from Tennessee to fix the fence.'

'Done!' replies the government official.

And that, friends, is how it all works!

Would you vote for the person that supports this ?

I would.

You cannot help the poor by destroying the rich.

You cannot strengthen the weak by weakening the strong.

You cannot bring about prosperity by discouraging thrift.

You cannot lift the wage earner up by pulling the wage payer down.

You cannot further the brotherhood of man by inciting class hatred.

You cannot build character and courage by taking away men's initiative and independence.

You cannot help men permanently by doing for them, what they could and should do for themselves.

Brothers

BROTHERS

Two little boys, ages 8 and 10, were excessively mischievous. They Were always getting into trouble and their parents knew all about It. If any mischief occurred in their town, the two boys were Probably involved.

The boys' mother heard that a preacher in town had been successful In disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys.

The preacher agreed, but he asked to see them individually. So the Mother sent the 8 year old first, in the morning, with the older boy To see the preacher in the afternoon.

The preacher, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy Down and asked him sternly, 'Do you know where God is, son?' The Boy's' mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there Wide- eyed with his mouth hanging open.

So the preacher repeated the question in an even sterner tone, 'Where is God?'

Again, the boy made no attempt to answer. The preacher raised his Voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, 'Where is God?'

The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly home and Dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him.

When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, 'What Happened?'

The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, 'We are in BIG Trouble this time,' (I just LOVE reading this next line...)

'GOD is missing, and they think we did it