Breaking News:

Breaking News:
CNN reports that gas stations will start showing PORN movies
on the screens of the pumps, so that you can see someone
else get screwed at the same time you do...!!

Sorta like politics....

The love story of Ralph and Edna.

Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have. Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital.. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool. Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.

Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled him out. When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.

When she went to tell Edna the news she said, 'Edna, I have goodnews and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged, since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love. I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness. The bad news is, Ralph hung himself in the bathroom with
his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead.'

Edna replied, 'He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?'

Knee hurts at 98 years old....

Old man Johnson limped into the doctor's office and said, "Doc, my
right knee hurts so bad, I can hardly walk!"

The doctor slowly eyed him from head to toe, paused and then said, "Mr. Johnson, just how old are you?" "98!" Johnson announced proudly.

The doctor just sighed, and looked at him again.

Finally he said, "Sir, I'm sorry. I mean, just look at you. You're practically one hundred years old, and you're complaining that your knee hurts? Well, what did you expect?"

The old man said, "Well, my other knee is 98 years old too, and it don't hurt!"

Congrats David Wray!!!

David must not have been very guilty if he can land a job of this level.

For more click here

Good luck David.

Best Short Joke

A 3-year-old boy examined his testicles while taking a bath. "Mom," he asked, "Are these my brains?"

"Not yet," she replied.

Men's Class starting soon ....joke...

got this in email this morning... :)

THE
ADULT LEARNING CENTER



NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM


Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays--Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll--Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?--Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5
Dinner Dishes--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
at 7:00 PM

Class 6
Loss Of Identity--Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 7
Learning How To Find Things--Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 8
Health Watch--Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost--Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined

Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

Class 11
Learning to Live--Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy--Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 14
The Stove/Oven--What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

Teacher Teacher Teacher

Thought these would tickle your day.

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America.

MARIA: ; Here it is.

TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?

CLASS: Maria.
____________________________________


TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?

JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
__________________________________________

TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile?"

GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L"

TEACHER: No, that's wrong

GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
____________________________________________

TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.

TEACHER: What are you talking about?

DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.

__________________________________

TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we
didn't have ten years ago.

WINNIE: Me!

__________________________________________

TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?

GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
_______________________________________

TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with "I."

MILLIE: I is...

TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, "I am."

MILLIE: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the
alphabet."

_________________________________

TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's
cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his
father didn't punish him?

LOUIS: Because George still had the ax in his hand.

______________________________________


TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before
eating?

SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.

______________________________


TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as
your brother's. Did you copy his?

CLYDE: No, teacher, it's the same dog.

___________________________________
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when
people are no longer interested?

HAROLD: A teacher

yagottabekiddinme sigh...politics

got this email humor today....funny...right???

Subject: vote for change?? yagottabekiddinme


A little over one year ago:
1) Consumer confidence stood at a 2 1/2 year high;
2) Regular gasoline sold for $2.19 a gallon;
3) the unemployment rate was 4.5%.

Since voting in a Democratic Congress in 2006 we've seen:
1) Consumer confidence plummet;
2) the cost of regular gasoline soar to over $3 a gallon;
3) Unemployment is up to 5% (a 10% increase);
4) American households have seen $2.3 trillion in equity value evaporate (stock and mutual fund losses);
5) Americans have seen their home equity drop by $1.2 trillion dollars;

6) 1% of American homes are in foreclosure.

America voted for change in 2006, and we got it!
Do we really want more change???

note from meblogin----any reporters or journalists out there.....

Reporters, Journalists, bloggers needed for questions

What are some of the reasons why some stories are covered/reported and others are ignored?

Earlier I was discussing this with Dr. Mary Johnson at her blog .

She and I have discussed this along with others for a couple of years now.

She believes that if her story was covered by local papers and blogs that it would make a difference not only for her personal story but also for all the young doctors. (Doc, if I did not say this correctly...please briefly explain.)

Ed and JR seem to catch the bulk of her criticism. There are many other journalists that could choose to cover this story. Simple question--- Why have you not? Others of course can offer opinions. Why does her story not merit some noticeable percentage (20% +/-) like Wray or Nifong?

My understanding ---she saved a young person's life, identified the Doctor that was negligent, had her day in court, important folks did not tell the truth, ruined her local career.....and the press does not seem to care.

Would Nifong still be employed if the press had not made the topic public?

thanks

Eve Carson pictures

Doc Mary has some pics for all of us to review so that we can help find the person that may be responsible.

Here is the link

While at the Doc's blog you might want to read some about her story and offer help if skilled in her area of need.