Marshall Eakes

Will I live to be 80?...serious stuff

2010-06-09T21:05:00.000-04:00

Will I Live to see 80?

Here's something to think about.

I recently picked a new primary care doctor. After two visits and exhaustive Lab tests, he said I was doing 'fairly well' for my age. (I just turned 68.)
A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, 'Do you think I'll live to be 80?' He asked, 'Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer or wine?'
'Oh no,' I replied.. 'I'm not doing drugs, either!'
Then he asked, 'Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?
'I said, 'Not much... my former doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy!'
'Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?'
'No, I don't,' I said.
He asked, 'Do you gamble, , or have a lot of sex?'
'No,' I said.
He looked at me and said,... 'Then, why do you even give a crap?

Southern IQ, Retirement, Fishing

2010-05-25T17:47:00.000-04:00

A redneck was stopped by a game warden in Central Mississippi recently with two ice chests full of fish. He was leavin' a cove well-known for its fishing.

The game warden asked the man, 'Do you have a license to catch those fish?' 'Naw, sir', replied the redneck. 'I ain't got none of them there licenses. You must understand, these here are my pet fish.'

'Pet fish?'

'Yeah. Every night, I take these here fish down to the lake and let 'em swim 'round for awhile. Then, when I whistle, they jump right back into these here ice chests and I take 'em home.'

'That's a bunch of hooey! Fish can't do that.'

The redneck looked at the warden for a moment and then said, 'It's the truth Mr. Government Man. I'll show ya. It really works.'

'O. K.', said the warden. 'I've got to see this!'

The redneck poured the fish into the lake and stood and waited. After several minutes, the warden says, 'Well?'

'Well, what?,' says the redneck.

The warden says, 'When are you going to call them back?'

'Call who back?'

'The FISH,' replied the warden!

'What fish?,' replied the redneck. ............

Moral of the story: We may not be as smart as some city slickers, but we ain't as dumb as some government employees.

You can say what you want about the South, but you never hear of anyone retiring and moving north.

How to clean up the oil and keep it green.

2010-05-20T09:37:00.001-04:00

Here is a simple solution to help clean up some of the oil spill.

Click here

or

copy paste this link--- http://www.wimp.com/solutionoil/

name change

2010-05-17T16:57:00.001-04:00

I decided to drop the Meblogin and just go with my name.

Of course I have been thinking to drop the blog ...not yet.

Watched The Blind Side tonight

2010-05-15T21:25:00.004-04:00

Critics gave this move a C+ and they were wrong.

Yahoo users gave it an A and they were right.

Click "The Blind Side" to see more.

Oh...it was on cable pay per view....best movie I have seen based on fact in many months.

Highly recommend.

Kay Hagan and I agree...

2010-05-14T19:40:00.005-04:00

I agree with all of these items that Senator Hagan supports---

Payday lenders (Joe Guarino asked me so out of respect I did a little research.) Joe, I agree with much that she supports. Don't you?

http://hagan.senate.gov/?p=press_release&id=551

and firefighters--

http://hagan.senate.gov/?p=press_release&id=547

and schools---

http://hagan.senate.gov/?p=press_release&id=537

and our NC coast--

http://hagan.senate.gov/?p=press_release&id=524

more jobs---
http://hagan.senate.gov/?p=press_release&id=511

financial reform and education---
http://hagan.senate.gov/?p=press_release&id=509

support for export manufacturing--
http://hagan.senate.gov/?p=press_release&id=449

With me being somewhat conservative I was quite surprised with the numbers of items that I support along with Senator Hagan. How about you? ...and others of course.

Thanks,

(did a little editing cause I might have made an error and removed Joe's name from the title....when I read this post today I felt that the reader might have thought I was negative about Joe which is not the case.)

Digital Photocopiers Loaded With Secrets

2010-05-13T18:45:00.001-04:00

Arizona...what....sigh...

2010-04-27T23:07:00.002-04:00

What am I missing? Phoenix is number two in the world for abduction and Arizona should not try to fix one of the obvious problems.

I have not heard the people of Arizona raise up and scream about their rights being taken.

In our little city of Greensboro....we get stopped from time to time to check licenses....RIGHT...checking my license....sure...how about checking if I am driving drunk or am an escaped felon.

Anyone upset about Arizona should be down out upset about security at airports...right?

What is the difference? Keep my family and me safe and if you step over the line...I'll let you know.

And yes I know I left low hanging fruit for those that want to pick.

Legalize all drugs today

2010-04-24T22:43:00.002-04:00

Legalize all the drugs today...not just pot.

Sell through the ABC or similar.

Tax, tax, tax...and will still be cheap.
Taxes pay for medical and clean up.
No more drug cartel.
No wasted court time which frees up for more important topics.
No jail time which frees up our jails decreasing need for new.
Farmers can grow pot and poppy. Cash crops.
Terrorist lose income stream in Afghanistan and elsewhere.

Why not?

Does anyone really believe that those that want drugs can not find them instantly?

Get to the point and tell me why this should not be law today across our great nation.

Lee might be right...was last time...

2010-04-12T19:50:00.000-04:00

http://www.truthorfiction.com/rumors/l/lee-iacocca.htm

Proposed 28th Amendment to the United States Constitution

2010-03-25T19:46:00.001-04:00

Please let me know if you agree or disagree and why------ I am more interested in those that disagree and why.

"Congress shall make no law that applies to the citizens of the United States that does not apply equally to the Senators and/or Representatives; and, Congress shall make no law that applies to the Senators and/or Representatives that does not apply equally to the citizens of the United States."

If you like how things are made..you are gonna love this

2010-03-08T22:22:00.001-05:00

Watch the latest in 3D modeling with Jay Leno.

Amazing Magic in the face of local politics

2010-02-24T18:42:00.001-05:00

See here

Some things are better left not figured out...

Health Plan that makes sense

2010-02-19T17:12:00.002-05:00

Is everyone already aware of the huge savings buying drugs from Costco? Costco beat the snot out of my UHC drug card without using the drug card. Six months with drug card at Walgreens = $240 ....same at Costco = $90...and no drug card needed. You don't have to be a member to buy your prescriptions at Costco if you are wondering.

I can sign up for a health plan that is like this...common sense for everyone.

doesn't matter which way you lean politically..now does it

2010-02-16T19:34:00.000-05:00

545 vs 300,000,000
EVERY CITIZEN NEEDS TO READ THIS AND THINK ABOUT WHAT THIS JOURNALIST HAS SCRIPTED IN THIS MESSAGE. READ IT AND THEN REALLY THINK ABOUT OUR CURRENT POLITICAL DEBACLE.

Charley Reese has been a journalist for 49 years.

545 PEOPLE
By Charlie Reese

Politicians are the only people in the world who create problems and then campaign against them.

Have you ever wondered, if both the Democrats and the Republicans are against deficits, WHY do we have deficits?

Have you ever wondered, if all the politicians are against inflation and high taxes, WHY do we have inflation and high taxes?

You and I don't propose a federal budget. The president does.

You and I don't have the Constitutional authority to vote on appropriations. The House of Representatives does.

You and I don't write the tax code, Congress does.

You and I don't set fiscal policy, Congress does.

You and I don't control monetary policy, the Federal Reserve Bank does.

One hundred senators, 435 congressmen, one president, and nine Supreme Court justices equates to 545 human beings out of the 300 million are directly, legally, morally, and individually responsible for the domestic problems that plague this country.

I excluded the members of the Federal Reserve Board because that problem was created by the Congress. In 1913, Congress delegated its Constitutional duty to provide a sound currency to a federally chartered, but private, central bank.

I excluded all the special interests and lobbyists for a sound reason.. They have no legal authority. They have no ability to coerce a senator, a congressman, or a president to do one cotton-picking thing. I don't care if they offer a politician $1 million dollars in cash. The politician has the power to accept or reject it. No matter what the lobbyist promises, it is the legislator's responsibility to determine how he votes.

Those 545 human beings spend much of their energy convincing you that what they did is not their fault. They cooperate in this common con regardless of party.
What separates a politician from a normal human being is an excessive amount of gall.. No normal human being would have the gall of a Speaker, who stood up and criticized the President for creating deficits.. The president can only propose a budget. He cannot force the Congress to accept it.

The Constitution, which is the supreme law of the land, gives sole responsibility to the House of Representatives for originating and approving appropriations and taxes. Who is the speaker of the House? Nancy Pelosi. She is the leader of the majority party... She and fellow House members, not the president, can approve any budget they want. If the president vetoes it, they can pass it over his veto if they agree to.

It seems inconceivable to me that a nation of 300 million can not replace 545 people who stand convicted -- by present facts -- of incompetence and irresponsibility. I can't think of a single domestic problem that is not traceable directly to those 545 people. When you fully grasp the plain truth that 545 people exercise the power of the federal government, then it must follow that what exists is what they want to exist.

If the tax code is unfair, it's because they want it unfair.

If the budget is in the red, it's because they want it in the red ..

If the Army &Marines are in IRAQ , it's because they want them in IRAQ

If they do not receive social security but are on an elite retirement plan not available to the people, it's because they want it that way.

There are no insoluble government problems..

Do not let these 545 people shift the blame to bureaucrats, whom they hire and whose jobs they can abolish; to lobbyists, whose gifts and advice they can reject; to regulators, to whom they give the power to regulate and from whom they can take this power. Above all, do not let them con you into the belief that there exists disembodied mystical forces like "the economy," "inflation," or "politics" that prevent them from doing what they take an oath to do.

Those 545 people, and they alone, are responsible.

They, and they alone, have the power.

They, and they alone, should be held accountable by the people who are their bosses.

Provided the voters have the gumption to manage their own employees.

We should vote all of them out of office and clean up their mess!

Charlie Reese is a former columnist of the Orlando Sentinel Newspaper.

What you do with this article now that you have read it.......... Is up to you.

This might be funny if it weren't so darned true.
Be sure to read all the way to the end:

Tax his land,
Tax his bed,
Tax the table
At which he's fed.

Tax his tractor,
Tax his mule,
Teach him taxes
Are the rule.

Tax his work,
Tax his pay,
He works for peanuts
Anyway!
Tax his cow,
Tax his goat,
Tax his pants,
Tax his coat.
Tax his ties,
Tax his shirt,
Tax his work,
Tax his dirt.

Tax his tobacco,
Tax his drink,
Tax him if he
Tries to think.

Tax his cigars,
Tax his beers,
If he cries
Tax his tears.

Tax his car,
Tax his gas,
Find other ways
To tax his ass.

Tax all he has
Then let him know
That you won't be done
Till he has no dough.

When he screams and hollers;
Then tax him some more,
Tax him till
He's good and sore.
Then tax his coffin,
Tax his grave,
Tax the sod in
Which he's laid.

Put these words
Upon his tomb,
Taxes drove me
to my doom...'

When he's gone,
Do not relax,
Its time to apply
The inheritance tax.
Accounts Receivable Tax
Building Permit Tax
CDL license Tax
Cigarette Tax
Corporate Income Tax
Dog License Tax
Excise Taxes
Federal Income Tax
Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA)
Fishing License Tax
Food License Tax
Fuel Permit Tax
Gasoline Tax (currently 44.75 cents per gallon)
Gross Receipts Tax
Hunting License Tax
Inheritance Tax
Inventory Tax
IRS Interest Charges IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax)
Liquor Tax
Luxury Taxes
Marriage License Tax
Medicare Tax
Personal Property Tax
Property Tax
Real Estate Tax
Service Charge T ax
Social Security Tax
Road Usage Tax
Sales Tax
Recreational Vehicle Tax
School Tax
State Income Tax
State Unemployment Tax (SUTA)
Telephone Federal Excise Tax
Telephone Federal Universal Service Fee Tax
Telephone Federal, State and Local Surcharge Taxes
Telephone Minimum Usage Surcharge=2 0Tax
Telephone Recurring and Non-recurring Charges Tax
Telephone State and Local Tax
Telephone Usage Charge Tax
Utility Taxes
Vehicle License Registration Tax
Vehicle Sales Tax
Watercraft Registration Tax
Well Permit Tax
Workers Compensation Tax

STILL THINK THIS IS FUNNY? Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago, and our nation was the most prosperous in the world. We had absolutely no national debt, had the largest middle class in the world, and Mom stayed home to raise the kids.
What in the hell happened? Can you spell 'politicians?'
And I still have to 'press 1' for English!?

Only viewed 10,000,000 times forward and backwards.

2010-02-06T12:16:00.000-05:00

This is pretty cool. Makes you think. A palindrome reads the same backwards as forward. This video reads the exact opposite backwards as forward. Not only does it read the opposite, the meaning is the exact opposite. This is only a 1 minute, 44 second video and it is brilliant. Make sure you read as well as listen…forward and backward... This is a video that was submitted in a contest by a 20-year old. The contest was titled "u @ 50" by AARP. This video won second place. When they showed it, everyone in the room was awe-struck and broke into spontaneous applause. So simple and yet so brilliant.

I don't think Ray Stevens is a democrat....

2010-01-01T13:17:00.003-05:00

This has been viewed over a million times. I don't know enough about the health reform to know if I support it or not but the video is funny. Thoughts?

or here--- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dc_-L4fyLUo

Bush/Obama Plan in Action

2009-12-17T17:47:00.002-05:00

I think this sums it up.

Some blame the left...some blame the right...I blame all of them.

What is so challenging to only spending a little less than what you bring in when you are the superpower richest on the planet?

A Tiny Request

2009-12-15T18:14:00.000-05:00

A friend sent this to me by email and ask that I share with others. Blog seemed like an easy way to reach a few.

Here is the request--

Dear God,
I pray for a cure for cancer.
Amen

Many are asking what will the path be.....

2009-12-07T08:46:00.002-05:00

My guess is that this road will be traveled by many.

What were we talking about again? :-)

Math Puzzle and God

2009-11-26T20:52:00.001-05:00

I heard it differently a couple of years ago...like this one much more.
Hat tip to Bubba.

The Beauty of Mathematics
and the Love of The Almighty!

This is TOO cool!

Just the math part is good enough, the end is even better.
I bet you will NOT be able to read it without sending it on to at
least one other person!
I received this e-mail and thought it was pretty cool! Keep scrolling it gets better.

Beauty of Mathematics!

1 x 8 + 1 = 9
12 x 8 + 2 = 98
123 x 8 + 3 = 987
1234 x 8 + 4 = 9876
12345 x 8 + 5 = 98765
123456 x 8 + 6 = 987654
1234567 x 8 + 7 = 9876543
12345678 x 8 + 8 = 98765432
123456789 x 8 + 9 = 987654321
1 x 9 + 2 = 11
12 x 9 + 3 = 111
123 x 9 + 4 = 1111
1234 x 9 + 5 = 11111
12345 x 9 + 6 = 111111
123456 x 9 + 7 = 1111111
1234567 x 9 + 8 = 11111111
12345678 x 9 + 9 = 111111111
123456789 x 9 +10= 1111111111
9 x 9 + 7 = 88
98 x 9 + 6 = 888
987 x 9 + 5 = 8888
9876 x 9 + 4 = 88888
98765 x 9 + 3 = 888888
987654 x 9 + 2 = 8888888
9876543 x 9 + 1 = 88888888
98765432 x 9 + 0 = 888888888

Brilliant, isn't it?

And look at this symmetry:

1 x 1 = 1
11 x 11 = 121
111 x 111 = 12321
1111 x 1111 = 1234321
11111 x 11111 = 123454321
111111 x 111111 = 12345654321
1111111 x 1111111 = 1234567654321
11111111 x 11111111 = 123456787654321
111111111 x 111111111 =12345678987654321

Mind Boggling...

Now, take a look at this...

101%
From a strictly mathematical viewpoint:

What Equals 100%?

What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?
Ever wonder about those people who say they
are giving more than 100%?
We have all been in situations where someone wants you to
GIVE OVER 100%...
How about ACHIEVING 101%?
What equals 100% in life?
Here's a little mathematical formula that might help
answer these questions:

If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H-A-R-D-W-O- R- K

8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

And:

K-N-O-W-L-E- D-G-E

11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+ 5 = 96%

But:

A-T-T-I-T-U- D-E

1+20+20+9+20+ 21+4+5 = 100%

THEN, look how far the love of God will take you:

L-O-V-E-O-F- G-O-D

12+15+22+5+15+ 6+7+15+4 = 101%

Therefore, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that:

While Hard Work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will
get you there, it's the Love of God that will put you over the top!

Just lucky our stock markets are closed today???

2009-11-26T16:29:00.002-05:00

I get tired of the randomness or not. Tomorrow will most likely be a black Friday for our equity markets.

Read here for more

Fec and Dr. Mary

2009-11-16T19:05:00.001-05:00

I am curious to see how this topic progresses. It is interesting that some of the normal outspoken bloggers are silent. I guess they are curious as well.

US debt

2009-11-08T16:26:00.001-05:00

What do you think about our US debt vs. historical?

Great physical therapist-- Dr. Aaron LeBauer

2009-09-26T19:56:00.006-04:00

With two surgeons....one local and one from Duke telling me I need to have two or three discs removed and surrounding vertebrae fused...ouch... I went looking for alternatives. My previous primary care giver's advice was to have the surgery. My pain level was a solid 8 to 10 and is now a comfortable 2 to 4 in less than 6 to 8 weeks.

My satisfaction with the following is 100% ! If he can not help you he will tell you. His goal is the patient.

Aaron LeBauer PT, DPT, LMBT
LeBauer Physical Therapy, LLC
338 N. Elm St, Suite #334
Greensboro, NC 27401
www.LeBauerPT.com

336-271-6677 work
336-271-6683 fax

I have never met anyone that cares more and champions the patient first more than Aaron. He has gone way above the normal to help me research my condition and alternate solutions. I had asked/begged my previous Doc to help me find other options.....nothing but silence. Aaron has helped not only with physical therapy but with education and exercises to help my body learn correct spinal alignment. Heck....I had no idea that I was part of the problem!!!

Thank you Aaron for caring. I hope others will read this and consider your services.

Easy way to unclog a toilet with hand dishwashing soap

2009-09-07T10:40:00.004-04:00

In our local group of bloggers I feel that the following is imperative to share. There are a few that should benefit.

It seems fitting to give directions and point to a blog that has many replies when a toilet is clogged and will not clear with a plunger or wire. Click here for link to other blog.

Directions--

Wait for toilet to drain down to half full or bucket out water if in a rush.
Turn on hot water in bath or shower.
Pour into toilet 6 to 8 oz of Dawn dishwashing soap into standing water in toilet above center of drain area.
Fill pot, plastic trash can..etc. with a gallon of very hot water and pour directly into center of toilet. (It is better to pour from waist high...but watch out for splashing)
Repeat with more hot water until toilet is pretty full (one to two inches from top)
Wait two hours and plunge again...it should break free and clear.
The toilet should have drained down where the height is not close to over flowing. If it has not, either wait a while longer or bucket out a few inches so that you can plunge without making a huge mess.
Repeat the above if needed. There are clogs that only a professional can clear.

The above assumes that you live in a two bathroom home or can dump the bucket outside or use multiple buckets and can flush later...etc.

The thought is that the Dawn breaks down the grease that is in the clog and lubricates the piping. The hot water adds to the process by softening most clogs.

OK....HERE IS HOW TO FIX THE ECONOMY

2009-02-12T19:45:00.002-05:00

This is simple...or is it?

Give the bottom 50% of taxpayers all the money. Stop screwing around with special interest this and that.

Will they save it or spend it? My guess is spend.

Their spending will take care of many problems.

Global leaders race the clock IMF confident governments will act in time to avert meltdown

2008-10-11T20:42:00.001-04:00

There may be some buying opportunities if we can make this work.

Where to invest now?

2008-07-16T22:26:00.001-04:00

....was over at Ed Cone's blog and posted the following---

Ed,

My two cents is to buy at current prices.

My opinion is to buy where the blood is freely flowing in the streets....

BBT, FITB, FCNCA at higher percentages of basket for financials

WB, C for lower percentages of basket for financials

FHM, FRE for fun money of basket for financials

Consider selling/writing options ...perhaps calls that are two months out and two strikes above current...and naked puts that are at your comfort level to take delivery of more stock.

No investment advice offered...simply for fun, but sorta points to what I am doing in small steps.

Good luck,

Marshall

With the current dividends, the above list and options sold...I believe one can grow wealth. What do others think?

geez...th0ught I was going to give up blogging... < :-) >

Would you vote for the person that supports this ?

2008-07-03T16:45:00.000-04:00

I would.

You cannot help the poor by destroying the rich.

You cannot strengthen the weak by weakening the strong.

You cannot bring about prosperity by discouraging thrift.

You cannot lift the wage earner up by pulling the wage payer down.

You cannot further the brotherhood of man by inciting class hatred.

You cannot build character and courage by taking away men's initiative and independence.

You cannot help men permanently by doing for them, what they could and should do for themselves.

Engineers

2008-05-24T21:52:00.000-04:00

Engineers:

Bubba and Ray were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up. A woman walked by and asked what they were doing.

'We're supposed to find the height of the flagpole,' said Bubba, 'but we don't have a ladder.'

The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts, and laid the pole down. Then she took a tape measure from her pocket, took a measurement, announced, 'Eighteen feet, six inches,'and walked away.

Ray shook his head and laughed. 'Ain't that just like a woman! We ask for the height and she gives us the length!'

Bubba and Ray are currently doing government work, supervising in the nation's capital.

Sorta like politics....

2008-05-10T20:54:00.002-04:00

The love story of Ralph and Edna.

Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have. Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital.. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool. Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.

Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled him out. When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.

When she went to tell Edna the news she said, 'Edna, I have goodnews and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged, since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love. I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness. The bad news is, Ralph hung himself in the bathroom with
his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead.'

Edna replied, 'He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?'

Knee hurts at 98 years old....

2008-04-14T22:49:00.000-04:00

Old man Johnson limped into the doctor's office and said, "Doc, my
right knee hurts so bad, I can hardly walk!"

The doctor slowly eyed him from head to toe, paused and then said, "Mr. Johnson, just how old are you?" "98!" Johnson announced proudly.

The doctor just sighed, and looked at him again.

Finally he said, "Sir, I'm sorry. I mean, just look at you. You're practically one hundred years old, and you're complaining that your knee hurts? Well, what did you expect?"

The old man said, "Well, my other knee is 98 years old too, and it don't hurt!"

Congrats David Wray!!!

2008-04-09T23:01:00.003-04:00

David must not have been very guilty if he can land a job of this level.

For more click here

Good luck David.

Best Short Joke

2008-04-09T17:28:00.000-04:00

A 3-year-old boy examined his testicles while taking a bath. "Mom," he asked, "Are these my brains?"

"Not yet," she replied.

Men's Class starting soon ....joke...

2008-03-14T08:06:00.000-04:00

got this in email this morning... :)

THE
ADULT LEARNING CENTER

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM

Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays--Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll--Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?--Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5
Dinner Dishes--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
at 7:00 PM

Class 6
Loss Of Identity--Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 7
Learning How To Find Things--Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 8
Health Watch--Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost--Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined

Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

Class 11
Learning to Live--Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy--Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 14
The Stove/Oven--What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

Teacher Teacher Teacher

2008-03-11T20:52:00.001-04:00

Thought these would tickle your day.

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America.

MARIA: ; Here it is.

TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?

CLASS: Maria.
____________________________________

TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?

JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
__________________________________________

TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile?"

GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L"

TEACHER: No, that's wrong

GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
____________________________________________

TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.

TEACHER: What are you talking about?

DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.

__________________________________

TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we
didn't have ten years ago.

WINNIE: Me!

__________________________________________

TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?

GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
_______________________________________

TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with "I."

MILLIE: I is...

TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, "I am."

MILLIE: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the
alphabet."

_________________________________

TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's
cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his
father didn't punish him?

LOUIS: Because George still had the ax in his hand.

______________________________________

TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before
eating?

SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.

______________________________

TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as
your brother's. Did you copy his?

CLYDE: No, teacher, it's the same dog.

___________________________________
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when
people are no longer interested?

HAROLD: A teacher

Reporters, Journalists, bloggers needed for questions

2008-03-09T21:04:00.003-04:00

What are some of the reasons why some stories are covered/reported and others are ignored?

Earlier I was discussing this with Dr. Mary Johnson at her blog .

She and I have discussed this along with others for a couple of years now.

She believes that if her story was covered by local papers and blogs that it would make a difference not only for her personal story but also for all the young doctors. (Doc, if I did not say this correctly...please briefly explain.)

Ed and JR seem to catch the bulk of her criticism. There are many other journalists that could choose to cover this story. Simple question--- Why have you not? Others of course can offer opinions. Why does her story not merit some noticeable percentage (20% +/-) like Wray or Nifong?

My understanding ---she saved a young person's life, identified the Doctor that was negligent, had her day in court, important folks did not tell the truth, ruined her local career.....and the press does not seem to care.

Would Nifong still be employed if the press had not made the topic public?

thanks

Lawyer joke.....I guess

2008-03-07T08:15:00.001-05:00

got this in email this morning...a good laugh to start the day

In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.'

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to d o, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?'

She again replied, 'Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.'

The defense attorney nearly died.

The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, 'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair.'

What if this is true?

2008-02-28T08:09:00.000-05:00

FORMS ARE GOING FAST SIGN UP TODAY

(got this by email...sorta funny...sorta not)

Becoming Illegal (Actual letter from an Iowa resident and sent to his senator)
The Honorable Tom Harkin
731 Hart Senate Office Building
Phone (202) 224 3254
Washington DC, 20510

Dear Senator Harkin,

As a native Iowan and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.

My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to illegal alien stems from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate and for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill's provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the last five years. I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone figures it out. Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and 2005.

Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local emergency room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped paying premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save almost $10,000 a year.

Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to her law school applications, as well as "in-state" tuition rates for many colleges throughout the United States for my son.

Lastly , I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden of renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome car insurance premiums. This is very important to me given that I still have college age children driving my car.

If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal (retroactively, if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be most appreciative. Thank you for your assistance.

Your Loyal Constituent,
Donald Ruppert
Burlington, IA

Get your Forms (NOW)!! Call your Internal Revenue Service

This is more important than our local mess...

2008-02-25T18:32:00.000-05:00

The Store Behind 'Before You Go'

In the early morning hours of a summer evening in 2002, Dr. Sam Bierstock was returning from a cross-country trip.

Better known as 'Dr. Sam' to millions of people, the doctor had just performed an engagement with his band, 'Dr. Sam & the Managed Care Blues Band ®'. A professional musician and entertainer as well as a physician, Dr. Sam had been entertaining and making political commentary using satire, great music and humor since 1996 when he formed 'Dr. Sam and The Managed Care Blues Band' On this particular evening, Dr. Sam was tired. He had parted with his band members and was headed home from a cross-country gig that had returned him to his home base in Florida at 1 AM. After retrieving his car from the parking lot, he handed his parking ticket to the elderly man in the collection booth. Retrieving his change, Dr. Sam wished the attendant a good evening. He w as somewhat startled when he received an unexpected angry and resentful reply. ' I took two bullets for this country,' the attendant responded, 'and look what I am doing now!'

Uncertain as to how to respond initially, Dr. Sam pocketed his change, rolled up his window and began to drive off. The time that it took to drive ten or fifteen feet from the toll booth was enough for him to digest what had just happened. With no one behind him, Dr. Sam backed up, rolled down his window and addressed the elderly attendant. 'Sir', he said, ' I have had a wonderful life in this country, and I want to thank you sincerely for what you did to preserve our way of life in this country.' Saying nothing in response, the man began to cry.

As he drove home in those early morning hours, Dr. Sam was haunted by what had just occurred. As a 'Baby Boomer' his early years of life were within a decade of the end of the Second World War. His step-father had been wounded in Italy, and other family members had served in the armed forces. Distant relatives had perished in the holocaust. What would have happened, he thought, if we had lost World War Two to Hitler and his Nazi henchmen? He realized that not only would our entire way of life and system of freedom been destroyed, his parents and grandparent would have been killed, he would never have been born and his children would not exist. The same fate would have been met by virtually all other members of minorities, many religious groups, and the disabled. The personal freedoms that we take so much for granted would have disappeared. 'How', he thought, 'do you thank someone enough for the existence of your children, and for all of the freedoms and opportunities that we all take so much for granted?'

The next morning, Dr. Sam wrote the lyrics to 'Before You Go'. His band had a new keyboard player, John Melnick. Dr. Sam casually mentioned to John that he had been struggling w ith putting some lyrics to music and couldn't seem to find the right fit. 'Let me take a shot at it,' john offered. The result was 'Before You Go' Time continued to pass as they tried to get it recorded by a well known singer. Acutely aware that the veterans of World War Two were being lost to age and time at a rate of 1,000 to 2,000 per day, they made the decision to release their recording for free listening on the Internet, in the hope that the message would be spread by those who heard their tune and forwarded it on to others. To enhance the impact of the song, Dr. Sam created a visual presentation to accompany the display of his lyrics, attempting to include as many of the branches of service of the armed forces, the allies, both sexes, and as many ethnic groups as possible in order to fortify a recognition of all who had done so much to preserve our way of life - and our very lives. Within one week, 'Before You Go' was being downloaded at a rate o f 400 to 500 downloads per day. By the end of the first six weeks, downloads totaled more than 450,000 peaking at 50,000 per day at one point.

Dr. Sam's and John Melnick's goal from the beginning has been to get this message to every surviving veteran of World War Two while we still have them, to their families and to their descendants. 'Before You Go' has had its own life, thanks to all of you who have helped to spread this message of thanks.

Before You Go
http://www.managedmusic.com/Music/PlayBeforeYouGo.php

Airplanes and nuclear power....joke

2008-02-24T20:10:00.001-05:00

A stranger was seated next to a little girl on the airplane when the

stranger turned to her and said, 'Let's talk. I've heard that flights go

quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.'

The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said

to the stranger, 'What would you like to talk about?'

'Oh, I don't know,' said the stranger. 'How about nuclear power?' and he

smiles.

'OK, ' she said. 'That could be an interesting topic.

But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat

the same stuff - grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty,

and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?'

The stranger, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks

about it and says, 'Hmmm, I have no idea.'

To which the little girl replies, 'Do you really feel qualified to

discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?

How to live made simple

2008-02-22T08:24:00.001-05:00

http://video.google.com/googleplayer.swf?docId=8577255250907450469&hl=en

carnegie mellon professor-watch it!

Billy Joel with visual fire

2008-02-18T19:03:00.001-05:00

tired of the daily routine...take a rest and watch this

http://yeli.us/Flash/Fire.html

Country preacher on raising a son... JOKE

2008-01-21T20:35:00.000-05:00

An old country preacher had a teenage son, and it was getting
time the boy should give some thought to choosing a
profession.

Like many young men, the boy didn't really know what he
wanted to do, and he didn't seem to concerned about it.

One day, while the boy was away to school, his father decided
to try an experiment. He went into the boy's room and placed
on his study table four objects.

A bible

A silver dollar

A bottle of whisky

And a playboy magazine.

'I'll just hide behind the door', the old preacher said to himself.

'When he comes home from school this afternoon, 'I'll see
which object he picks up.

If it's the bible, he's going to be a preacher like me and what a
blessing that would be!

If he picks up the dollar, he's going to be a business man, and
that would be okay, too.

But if he picks up the bottle. he's going to be a no-good
drunkard, and Lord, what a shame that would be.

And worst of all if he picks up that magazine he's going to be a
skirt-chasing bum.

The old man waited anxiously, and soon heard his son's foot-
steps as he entered the house whistling and headed for his
room.

The boy tossed his books on the bed, and as he turned to leave
the room he spotted the objects on the table.

With curiosity in his eye, he walked over to inspect them

Finally, he picked up the Bible and placed it under his arm.

He picked up the silver dollar and dropped into his pocket.

He uncorked the bottle and took a big drink while he admired
this months centerfold.

'Lord have merc y.' the old preacher disgustedly whispered.
'He's gonna run for Congress.'

A Great Song!!! Listen

2007-12-25T15:44:00.000-05:00

This is great..turn up the sound and enjoy!!!

Here is the link.

Take a second and let me know if you liked.

Peoples Bank of China

2007-12-23T22:37:00.000-05:00

China is raising savings interest rates while the USA is cutting.

My guess is that our markets will start seeing money shift back to China.

I don't see a Santa Claus rally this year.....do you and why?

This Question is for you...

2007-12-22T08:39:00.001-05:00

The Bathtub Test

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director how do
you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.

"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a
teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty
the bathtub."

"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the
bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."

"No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"

ARE YOU GOING TO PASS THIS ON, OR DO YOU WANT THE BED NEXT TO MINE ?

Is the homeowner guilty?

2007-12-19T23:24:00.000-05:00

I don't think so. Check this out.

Should a lender justify the credit worthiness of the borrower? ...yes.

How to avoid worms.....

2007-12-10T17:09:00.000-05:00

in email today-----

Four Worms and a Lesson

A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon.

Four worms were placed int o four separate jars.

The first worm was put into a container of alcohol.
The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke.
The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup.
The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil.

At the conclusion of the sermon, the Minister reported the following results:

The first worm in alcohol - Dead.

The second worm in cigarette smoke - Dead

Third worm in chocolate syrup - Dead

Fourth worm in good clean soil - Alive.

So the Minister asked the congregation -

What can you learn from this demonstration?

Maxine, who was sitting in the back, quickly raised her hand and said,

"As long as you drink, smoke and eat chocolate, you won't have worms!"

That pretty much ended the service.

The REAL Truth

2007-12-03T20:46:00.000-05:00

Got this in email today.... :)

Learn how to sell....

2007-11-27T18:10:00.000-05:00

Check out a new local blogger.

Of course, Joel's blog is always worth a visit.

MADE ME LAUGH LOUD!!!

2007-11-24T17:19:00.000-05:00

A woman recently received a parrot as a gift.

The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary.

Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced
with profanity.

She tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently
saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else she
could think of to 'clean up' the bird's vocabulary.

Finally, she was fed up and yelled at the parrot.

The parrot yelled back.

She shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even ruder.

So, in desperation, she threw up her hands, grabbed the bird and put
him in the freezer.

For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed.

Then suddenly there was total quiet.

Not a peep was heard for over a minute.

Fearing that she hurt the parrot,

She quickly opened the door to the freezer.

The parrot calmly stepped out onto her outstretched arm and said

'I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions.

I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I
fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and
unforgivable behavior.'

She was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude.

As she was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic
change in his behavior, the bird continued,

'May I ask what the turkey did?'

Copper thief!

2007-11-19T08:53:00.000-05:00

We had a copper thief over the weekend at my company. The thief took apart one of our outside AC units and stole the copper.....I would guess for scrap value.

It surprises me that they chose our building due to our property being fenced. I guess we will consider adding some additional security.

I would assume that if our local scrap converters (DH Griffin) works with the police that this would be an easy catch.

Other thoughts?

Greensboro PAC vs Simpkins PAC

2007-11-11T20:07:00.001-05:00

I think it is time for a new PAC in town...one that supports what is best for all Greensboro and not only special interests.

Buying a husband

2007-10-29T08:13:00.001-04:00

Got this joke in email this morning....good to start the week with laughter--

The Husband Store

A brand new store has just opened in New York City that sells Husbands. When women go to choose a husband, they have to follow the instructions at the entrance:- "You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are 6 floors and the value of the products increase as you ascend the flights. You may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you CANNOT go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.

On the 1st floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men have jobs.

The 2nd floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

The 3rd floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids and are extremely good looking.

"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the 4th floor and the sign reads: Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help with Housework.

"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"

Still, she goes to the 5th floor and sign reads: Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, help with Housework and Have A Strong Romantic Streak. She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the 6th floor and the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opens a New Wives store just across the street.

The 1st floor has wives that love sex.

The 2nd ! floor has wives that love sex and have money.

The 3rd through 6th floors have never been visited.

The Trippiest Optical Illusions on the 'Net

2007-10-22T08:03:00.000-04:00

Follow this link to a very cool visual.

PURE BULL... :)

2007-10-17T18:37:00.001-04:00

A farmer went to the local Bank to borrow money for a new bull.

The loan was made and Banker Bill, who lent the money, came by a week later to see how the bull was doing.

The farmer complained that the bull just ate grass and wouldn't even look at a cow. Banker Bill suggested that he have a veterinarian take a look at the bull.

Next week Banker Bill returned to see if the vet had helped.

The farmer looked very pleased. "The bull has serviced all of my cows! He even broke through the fence, and bred all my neighbor's cows! He's been breeding just about everything in sight. He's like a machine!"

"Wow," said Banker Bill , "what did the vet do to that bull?"

"Just gave him some pills," replied the farmer.

"What kind of pills?" asked Banker Bill .

"I don't know, but they kind of taste like peppermint."

CONSERVE WATER NOW OR .....

2007-10-11T22:39:00.000-04:00

I got this in my email today....thought it was progressive for Greensboro to advertise using email. My guess is that my blog is not well read. :)

Here is the text from the email----

Hi,

The City of Greensboro has produced four ads promoting water conservation and we are seeking low- or no-cost ways to share the information with the community. I know that your blog is well-read in Greensboro, and if you can place one or more of our ads on your blog, we can be sure that we reach even more people with the message that conservation is vital during this statewide drought.

I have attached the ads for your convenience. We sincerely appreciate any assistance you can provide.

Elaine Tricoli, Interim Communications Manager
Public Affairs Department
City of Greensboro
PO Box 3136, Greensboro, NC 27402
Ph: (336) 373-2421 Fax: (336) 373-4656
www.greensboro-nc.gov

Conserve water now.

A Poem That Gives You Goosebumps... and might make you find a tear

2007-10-10T19:39:00.000-04:00

A Poem That Gives You Goosebumps... and might make you find a tear....meblogin added :)

(got this in email today)

A drunk man in an Oldsmobile
They said had run the light

That caused the six-car pileup
On 109 that night.

When broken bodies lay about
And blood was everywhere,

The sirens screamed out eulogies,
For death was in the air.

A mother, trapped inside her car,
Was heard above the noise;

Her plaintive plea near split the air:
"Oh, God, please spare my boys!"

She fought to loose her pinned hands; She struggled to get free,

But mangled metal held her fast
In grim captivity.

Her frightened eyes then focused
On where the back seat once had been,

But all she saw was broken glass and Two children's seats crushed in.

Her twins were nowhere to be seen;
She did not hear them cry,

And then she prayed they'd been thrown free, "Oh, God, don't let them die! "

Then firemen came and cut her loose, But when they searched the back,

They found therein no little boys, But the seat belts were intact.

They thought the woman had gone mad And was traveling alone,

But when they turned to question her, They discovered she was gone.

Policemen saw her running wild And screaming above the noise

In beseeching supplication, "Please help me find my boys!

They're four years old and wear blue shirts; Their jeans are blue to match."

One cop spoke up, "They're in my car, And they don't have a scratch.

They said their daddy put them thereAnd gave them each a cone,

Then told them both to wait for Mom
To come and take them home.

I've searched the area high and low, But I can't find their dad.

He must have fled the scene, I guess, and that is very bad."

The mother hugged the twins and said, "While wiping at a tear,

"He could not flee the scene, you see, For he's been dead a year."

The cop just looked confused and asked, "Now, how can that be true? "

The boys said, ""Mommy, Daddy came And left a kiss for you."

He told us not to worryAnd that you would be all right,

And then he put us in this car with
The pretty, flashing light.

We wanted him to stay with us, Because we miss him so,

But Mommy, he just hugged us tight
And said he had to go.

He said someday we'd understand
And told us not to fuss,

"And he said to tell you, Mommy,
He's watching over us."

The mother knew without a doubt
That what they spoke was true,

For she recalled their dad's last words, " I will watch over you."

The firemen's notes could not explain The twisted, mangled car,

And how the three of them escaped
Without a single scar.

But on the cop's report was scribed, In print so very fine,

An angel walked the beat tonight on Highway 109.

"The 7 Second Prayer, Just repeat this phrase and see how God moves.

"Lord, I love you and I need you, come into my heart, and bless my

family, my home, my friends, and me. Amen. "

Gardner-Garity

2007-10-02T09:01:00.000-04:00

Question- If several policemen meet and then at a later date tell the same fictitious story to a civilian investigative agency...have they broken any laws where they can be prosecuted or are they protected from prosecution?

Is it correct that someone can lie while being interviewed and be protected from prosecution or even being fired due to Gardner-Garity?

Regardless of Gardner-Garity has a law been broken if someone chooses to lie to a private detective when being interviewed?

thanks

Hillary for President video or veto...hmmm

2007-09-25T19:30:00.000-04:00

OK...please review the following video.

http://hytaipan.home.comcast.net/media/serenity2.html

My guess is that Sam will like this one....remote possibility that Bubba will to.

Ed...probably not.

Be sure to watch until the end.

Stock Market

2007-09-24T21:23:00.000-04:00

My guess is down from here. The GM strike, the housing realease tomorrow...and lack of bullish news for the week causes my bearish outlook for the next couple of days.

no opinions or advice...just fun!

DAMN IT GREENSBORO...WAKE UP!!!!!

2007-09-24T20:44:00.001-04:00

We need to hire more police to rid our fine city of the growing problem of GANGS and the violence that they bring.

We need to pay more taxes to make the above happen.

I will gladly pay my fair share of tax increase to solve this GANG problem. Will you?

Do you believe it is not real? Are you hiding in your "safe" neighborhood believing that this happens only in those "bad" areas of town?

Do you believe that doing nothing will make GANGS go away? They are growing much quicker than our police force and have equal fire power. Don't you get it?

Raise the tax, hire the police and solve the damn problem!

Other ideas?

Here is a great place to start-----

Joe Guarino is one very talented writer and Greensboro is lucky to have him.

Click here

Why did Wray quit?

2007-09-23T21:56:00.000-04:00

Tell me one more time...why did David Wray quit? I am puzzled by this part of the story.

Beat this for an attorney joke

2007-09-12T21:32:00.000-04:00

A father walks into a bookstore with his young son. The boy is holding a quarter. Suddenly, the boy starts choking, and goes blue in the face. The father realizes the boy has swallowed the quarter and starts to panic, shouting for help.

A well dressed, attractive and serious looking woman, in a blue business suit is sitting at a coffee bar reading a newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee. At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, carefully puts her coffee cup down, neatly folds the newspaper and places it on the counter, arises from her seat, and makes her way, unhurried, across the book store.

Reaching the boy, the woman carefully drops his pants. She takes hold of the boy's testicles and starts to squeeze and twist, gently at first and then ever more firmly. After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the quarter, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand. Releasing the boy's testicles, the woman hands the coin to the father and walks back to her seat in the coffee bar without saying a word.

As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no ill effects, the father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying, 'I've never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are you a doctor?'

'No,' the woman replied. 'Divorce attorney'!

MANDATORY URINE TEST

2007-09-11T20:07:00.000-04:00

Like many folks in this state, I have a job. I work, they pay me. I pay my taxes and the government distributes my taxes as it sees fit. In order to get that paycheck, I may be required to pass a random urine test, with which I have not problem.

What I do have a problem with is the distribution of my taxes to people who are not required to pass a urine test. Shouldn't one have to pass a urine test to get a welfare check, since I have to pass a urine test to earn it for them?

Please understand, I have no problem with helping people get back on their feet. I do, on the other hand, have a problem with helping someone sitting on their butt, doing drugs, while I work. Can you imagine how much money the state would save if people had to pass a urine test to receive public assistance???

Did you score????

2007-09-05T19:35:00.001-04:00

This is fun...only takes a couple of minutes. Below is Dr. Phil's test. (Dr. Phil scored 55; he did this test on Oprah - she got a 38.) Some folks pay a lot of money to find this stuff out!

Read on, this is very interesting!

Don't be overly sensitive! The following is pretty accurate and it only takes 2 minutes. Take this test for yourself and send it to your friends.

Reply with your score and if you feel it is accurate if you like.

Answers are for who you are now --- not who you were in the past. Have pen or pencil and paper ready.

This is a real test given by the Human Relations Dept. at many of the major corporations today. It helps them get better insight concerning their employees and prospective employees. It's only 10 Simple questions, so grab a pencil and paper, keeping track of your letter answers to each q u estion.

Begin.

1 When do you feel your best?

a) in the morning
b) during the afternoon &and early evening
c) late at night

2. You usually walk...

a) fairly fast, with long steps
b) fairly fast, with little steps
c) less fast head up, looking the world in the face
d) less fast, head down
e) very slowly

3. When talking to people you...
a) stand with your arms folded
b) have your hands clasped
c) have one or both your hands on your hips
d) touch or push the person to whom you are talking
e) play with your ear, touch your chin, or smooth your hair .

4. When relaxing, you sit with. .

a) your knees bent and with your legs neatly side by side
b) your legs crossed
c) your legs stretched out or straight
d) one leg curled under you

5. When something really amuses you, you react with...

a) big appreciated laugh
b) a laugh, but not a loud one
c) a quiet chuckle
d) a sheepish smile

6. When you go to a party or social gathering you .. .

a) make a loud entrance so everyone notices you
b) make a quiet entrance, looking around for someone you know
c) make the quietest entrance, trying to stay unnoticed

7. You're working very hard, concentrating hard, and you're interrupted...

a) welcome the break
b) feel extremely irritated
c) vary between these two extreme

8. Which of the following colors do you like most?
a) red or orange
b) black
c) yellow or light blue
d) green
e) dark blue or purple
f) white
g) brown or gray

9. When you are in bed at night, in those last few moments before going to sleep you are...

a) stretched out on your back
b) stretched out face down on your stomach
c) on your side, slightly curled
d) with your head on one arm
e) with your head under the covers

10. You often dream that you are...

a) falling
b) fighting or struggling
c) searching for something or somebody
d) flying or floating
e) you usually have dreamless sleep
f) your dreams are always pleasant

POINTS:

1. (a) 2 (b) 4 (c) 6
2. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 7 (d) 2 (e) 1
3. (a) 4 (b) 2 (c) 5 (d) 7 (e) 6
4. (a) 4 (b) 6 (c) 2 (b)) (d) 1
5. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 3 &nb sp; (d) 5 (e) 2
6. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 2
7 (a) 6 (b) 2 (c) 4
8. (a) 6 (b) 7 (c) 5 (d) 4 (e) 3 (f) 2 (g) 1
9. (a) 7 (b) 6 (c) 4 (d) 2 (e) 1
10. (a) 4 (b) 2 ( c) 3 (d) 5 (e) 6 (f) 1

Now add up your total number of points.

OVER 60 POINTS : Others see you as someone they should 'handle with care.' You're seen as vain, self-centered, and who is extremely dominant. Others may admire you, wishing they could be more like you, but don't always trust you, hesitating to become too deeply involved with you.
51 T 60 POINTS : Others see you as an exciting, highly volatile, rather impulsive personality; a natural leader, who's quick to make decisions, though not always the right ones. They see you as bold and adventuresome, someone who will try anything once; someone who takes chances and enjoys an adventure. They enjoy being in your company because of the excitement you radiate.

41 TO 50 POINTS : Others see you as fresh, lively, charming, amusing, practical, and always interesting; someone who's constantly in the center of attention, but sufficiently well-balanced not to let it go to their head. They also see you as kind, considerate, and understanding; someone who'll always cheer them up and help them out.

31 TO 40 POINTS : Others see you as sensible, cautious, careful & practical. They see you as clever, gifted, or talented, but modest. Not a person who makes friends too quickly or easily, but someone who's extremely loyal to friends you do make and who expect the same loyalty in return. Those who really get to know you realize it takes a lot to shake your trust in your friends, but equally that it takes you a long time to get over if that trust is ever broken.

21 TO 30 POINTS: Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy. They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder. It would really surprise them if you eve r did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment, expecting you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then , usually decide against it. They think this reaction is caused partly by your careful nature.

UNDER 21 POINTS: People think you are shy, nervous, and indecisive, someone who needs looking after, who always wants someone else to make the decisions & who doesn't want to get involved with anyone or anything! They see you as a worrier who always sees problems that don't exist. Some people think you' re boring. Only those who know you well know that you aren't.

Well, how did you score?...me...I scored 49.

God and America

2007-08-24T22:59:00.000-04:00

I liked this and hope you do to. Click "here"

Anyone agree....or disagree?

Have a great weekend

Medical Information......

2007-07-15T19:57:00.000-04:00

Circumcised

A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class was squirming around, scratching his crotch, and not paying attention. She went back to find out what was going on. He was quite embarrassed and whispered that
he had just recently been circumcised and he was quite itchy. The teacher told him to go down to the principal's office. He was to telephone his mother and ask her what he should do about it. He did it and returned to his class.

Suddenly, there was a commotion at the back of the room. She went back to investigate only to find him sitting at his desk with his weenie hanging out. "I thought I told you to call your mom!" she said. "I did," he said, "And she told me that if I could stick it out till noon, she'd come and pick me up from school".

KIDS, DON'T YOU JUST LOVE THEM???

KIDS IN CHURCH ...Hard to Believe....

2007-07-09T20:39:00.000-04:00

3-year-old Reese:
"Our Father, Who does art in heaven,
Harold is His name.
Amen."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A little boy was overheard praying:
"Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it.
I'm having a real good time like I am."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After the christening of his baby brother in church,
Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car. <>His father asked him three times what was wrong.
Finally, the boy replied,
"That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home,
and I wanted to stay with you guys."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One particular four-year-old prayed,
"And forgive us our trash baskets
as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Sunday school teacher asked her children as they
were on the way to church service,
"And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"
One bright little girl replied,
"Because people are sleeping."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin 5, and Ryan 3.
The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake.
Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson.
"If Jesus were sitting here, He would say,
'Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait.'
Kevin turned to his younger br other and said,
"Ryan, you be Jesus!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A father was at the beach with his children
when the four-year-old son ran up to him,
grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore
where a seagull lay dead in the sand.
"Daddy, what happened to him?" the son asked.
"He died and went to Heaven," the Dad replied.
The boy thought a moment and then said,
"Did God throw him back down?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A wife invited some people to dinner.
At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said,
"Would you like to say the blessing?"
"I wouldn't know what to say," the girl replied.
"Just say what you hear Mommy say," the wife answered.
The daughter bowed her head and said,
"Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

John Glenn sounds good to me

2007-07-05T19:46:00.000-04:00

I checked this with Snopes after one of my friends questioned the John Glenn timeline in the story.

http://www.snopes.com/politics/quotes/glenn.asp

There are times when old news is good news......

Read to the end for the senate floor exchange between Senator Metzenbaum & Senator Glenn.

JOHN GLENN SAID

Things that make you think a little:

There were 39 combat related killings in Iraq in January. In the fair city of Detroit there were 35 murders in the month of January. That's just one American city, about as deadly as the entire war-torn country of Iraq

When some claim that President Bush shouldn't have started this war, state the following:

a. FDR led us into World War II.

b. Germany never attacked us ; Japan did. From 1941-1945, 450,000 lives were lost ... an average of 112,500 per year.

c. Truman finished that war and started one in Korea. North Korea never attacked us. From 1950-1953, 55,000 lives were lost ... an average of 18,334 per year.

d John F. Kennedy started the Vietnam conflict in 1962. Vietnam never attacked us.

e. Johnson turned Vietnam into a quagmire. From 1965-1975, 58,000 lives were lost .. an average of 5,800 per year.

f. Clinton went to war in Bosnia without UN or French consent. Bosnia never attacked us. He was offered Osama bin Laden's head on a platter three times by Sudan and did nothing. Osama has attacked us on multiple occasions.

g. In the years since terrorists attacked us, President Bush has liberated two countries, crushed the Taliban, crippled al-Qaida, put nuclear inspectors in Libya, Iran and North Korea without firing a shot, and captured a terrorist who slaughtered 300,000 of his own people.

The Democrats are complaining about how long the war is taking.

But Wait...

It took less time to take Iraq than it took Janet Reno to take the Branch Davidian compound. That was a 51-day operation.

We've been looking for evidence for chemical weapons in Iraq for less time than it took Hillary Clinton to find the Rose Law Firm billing records.

It took less time for the 3rd Infantry Division and the Marines to destroy the Medina Republican Guard than it took Ted Kennedy to call the police after his Oldsmobile sank at Chappaquiddick

t took less time to take Iraq than it took to count the votes in Florida !!!!

Our Commander-In-Chief is doing a GREAT JOB! Military morale is high!

The biased media hopes we are too ignorant to realize the facts.

But Wait...

There's more!

JOHN GLENN (ON THE SENATE FLOOR) Mon, 26 Jan 2004 11:13

Some people still don't understand why military personnel do what they do for a living. This exchange between Senators John Glenn and Senator

Howard Metzenbaum is worth reading. Not only is it a pretty impressive impromptu speech, but it's also a good example of one man's explanation of why men and women in the armed services do what they do for a living.

This IS a typical, though sad, example of what some who have never served think of the military.

Senator Metzenbaum (speaking to Senator Glenn): "How can you run for Senate when you've never held a real job?"

Senator Glenn (D-Ohio): "I served 23 years in the United States Marine Corps. I served through two wars. I flew 149 missions. My plane was hit by anti-aircraft fire on 12 different occasions. I was in the space program. It wasn't my checkbook, Howard; it was my life on the line. It was not a nine-to-five job, where I took time off to take the daily cash receipts to the bank.

"I ask you to go with me, as I went the other day, to a veteran's hospital and look those men, with their mangled bodies, in the eye, and tell THEM they didn't hold a job!

"You go with me to the Space Program at NASA and go, as I have gone, to the Widows and Orphans of Ed White, Gus Grissom and Roger Chaffee... and you look those kids in the eye and tell them that their DADS didn't hold a job.

"You go with me on Memorial Day and you stand in Arlington National Cemetery, where I have more friends buried than I'd like to remember, and you watch those waving flags.

"You stand there, and you think about this nation, and you tell me that those people didn't have a job?

What about you?"

For those who don't remember During W.W.II, Howard Metzenbaum was an attorney representing the Communist Party in the USA.

Now he's a Senator!

If you can read this, thank a teacher! If you are reading it in English thank a Veteran.

It might not be a bad idea to keep this circulating!

back to meblogin---I found this interesting

Paint by Numbers....don't think so...must see

2007-06-26T22:42:00.000-04:00

Check this out....WOW....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OIJtKxdRQzY

Stock Market movement

2007-06-23T16:48:00.000-04:00

I believe that our markets have some trouble due to recent China bonds offered, value of the Yuan and weak credit here at home. My guess is that down is the more likely direction over the next year. Agree? Disagree?

Iraq, History, Weapons, Democrats

2007-05-24T08:22:00.000-04:00

I am curious as to the authenticity of the below video. If accurate it would appear that many politicians have selective memory.

http://www.bercasio.com/movies/dems-wmd-before-iraq.wmv

Politicians Good / Bad

2007-05-23T20:15:00.001-04:00

Do you really think there are good choices?

If so, who and why....

thanks

me, I think most have one agenda...get elected.

Canada Dry / Coliseum Property-New Information...CLOSER TO CLEAN

2007-05-16T18:59:00.000-04:00

There has been much conversation regarding the ongoing clean-up of the Canada Dry building and land on High Point Road adjacent to the Greensboro Coliseum. I see this subject as having nothing to do with the names and associations of the owners....it is about what is best for Greensboro.

Some have claimed that little has been done to clean this property and that the city should avoid any purchase. I believe this to be silly and very shortsighted. Some need to think about exactly how large a 10,000 gallon tank actually is....think about 2,000 5 gallon cans. ...now think about how many tanks were removed. I assume it is easy to close a well. If I were the sellers and it was easy to close the well and hook up to city water for all needs...then I would consider doing this now. There may be excellent reasons not to...I don't know. If this is easy to do then the ease or ability to sell this property rose significantly.

Please see this link for additional information at the bottom of Jordan Green's Yes Weekly reporting....here... It is very detailed as to what has been done.

I continue to support the idea of our great city owning this property (almost regardless of price...within reason) using a long term perspective of at least twenty years. It should be easy to recognize that if price is within 10% +/- then who cares....within a few years it will be a great value to all or our residents. The difference between what is a great price and a market value price is only a few dollars per resident...no big deal...make it happen!

Me...my fingers are crossed that with this property in hand and some excellent creative development on the part of the city....maybe...just maybe.... Greensboro can return High Point Road to a more postive direction. I hope so!! I want Greensboro to be the best place to live within hundreds of miles...this is not achieved by being shortsighted and silly. Most of our leaders already know this and are owed a thank you. Thanks.

Greensboro needs to think beyond the clean issues and assume this is much more easily resolved than even a few short months ago. Imagine the number of buyers when the property has a clean bill of health. ....sigh...my guess...the same folks that are advocating the city to pass on this huge opportunity will be the same ones critical later when the problems are solved and someone else is the buyer.

---here are a few comments from the bottom of the article--- and another link

If the building is renovated for continued use, these materials can either be removed or sealed in place. In either case, the asbestos and lead paint issues do not prohibit development at the site. In summary, the site’s “High Risk” designation will be lowered as soon as the water supply well is closed. A Notice of Residual Petroleum (NORP) will be filed and recorded for the property, which is common for properties which have had UST’s. The filing of a NORP does not affect commercial development of the property. In conclusion, extensive remediation has been performed on the property, and no further active remediation is anticipated for use of the land as a commercial/industrial site. Susan S. Robinson 5-12-07

I am unclear if Susan Robinson is the author or the source of information for Jordan Green. Either way, thanks to both for the updated valuable information.

Thanks,
Meblogin

Taxation 100 years ago vs. today....interesting

2007-05-13T20:05:00.000-04:00

I wonder if the following is accurate...no time to research but felt it worth sharing. If total fiction...let me know and I will delete.

Tax truth

At first this was funny...then realized the awful truth of it.
Be sure to read all the way to the end!

Tax his land,
Tax his bed,
Tax the table
At which he's fed.

Tax his tractor,
Tax his mule,
Teach him taxes
Are the rule.

Tax his cow,
Tax his goat,
Tax his pants,
Tax his coat.

Tax his ties,
Tax his shirt,
Tax his work,
Tax his dirt.

Tax his tobacco,
Tax his drink,
Tax him if he
Tries to think.

Tax his cigars,
Tax his beers,
If he cries, then
Tax his tears.

Tax his car,
Tax his gas,
Find other ways
To tax his ass

Tax all he has
Then let him know
That you won't be done
Till he has no dough.

When he screams and hollers,
Then tax him some more,
Tax him till
He's good and sore.

Then tax his coffin ,
Tax his grave,
Tax the sod in
Which he's laid.

Put these words
upon his tomb,
" Taxes drove me to my doom..."

When he's gone,
Do not relax,
Its time to apply
The inheritance tax.

Accounts Receivable Tax
Building Permit Tax
CDL license Tax
Cigarette Tax
Corporate Income Tax
Dog License Tax
Excise Taxes
Federal Income Tax
Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA)
Fishing License Tax
Food License Tax,
Fuel permit tax
Gasoline Tax (42 cents per gallon)
Gross Receipts Tax
Hunting License Tax
Inheritance Tax
Interest expense
Inventory tax
IRS Interest Charges IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax)
Liquor Tax
Luxury Taxes
Marriage License Tax
Medicare Tax
Personal Property Tax
Property Tax
Real Estate Tax
Service charge taxes
Social Security Tax
Road usage taxes
Sales Tax
Recreational Vehicle Tax
School Tax
State Income Tax
State Unemployment Tax (SUTA)

Telephone federal excise tax
Telephone federal universal service fee tax
Telephone federal, state and local surcharge taxes
Telephone minimum usage surcharge tax
Telephone recurring and non-recurring charges tax
Telephone state and local tax
Telephone usage charge tax
Utility Taxes
Vehicle License Registration Tax
Vehicle Sales Tax
Watercraft registration Tax
Well Permit Tax
Workers Compensation Tax

COMMENTS:

Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago, and our nation was the most prosperous in the world. We had absolutely no national debt, had the largest middle class in the world, and Mom stayed home to raise the kids.

What happened? Some say politicians.....

Don't get all choked up!

2007-02-19T23:34:00.000-05:00

NEVER CHOKE IN A RESTAURANT IN THE SOUTH

Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant. After ordering their cornbread and beans, they talk about the latest addition to their junkyard business.

Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough. After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress.

One of the hillbillies looks at her and says "Kin ya swallar?" The woman shakes her head no. "Kin ya breathe?" The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head no.

The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up the back of her dress, yanks down her drawers and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue.

The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm and the obstruction flies out of her mouth. As she begins to breathe again, the hillbilly walks slowly back to the bar.

His partner says, "Ya know, I'd heerd of that there 'Hind Lick Maneuver',
but I ain't never seed nobody do it.

Helpful Tax Advice....smile

2007-02-13T19:17:00.000-05:00

A woman walks into an accountant's office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes.

The accountant says, "Before we begin, I'll need to ask you a few questions." He gets her name, address, social security number, etc. and then asks, "What is your occupation?"

"I'm a prostitute," she says.

The accountant is somewhat taken aback and says, "No, No, No. That won't work. Let's try to rephrase that."

The woman says, "OK, I'm a high-end call girl."

"No, that still won't work. Try again."

They both think for a minute; then the woman says, "I'm an elite chicken farmer."

The accountant asks, "What does chicken farming have to do with being a prostitute?"

"Well, I raised a thousand little peckers last year."

"Chicken Farmer it is."

Another great reason to blog!!http://nobeliefs.com/puzzles/illusions.htm

2007-02-12T19:58:00.000-05:00

Please copy paste the link below and comment as you like.

http://nobeliefs.com/puzzles/illusions.htm

I liked the pink dots turning green.

I promise I am open minded with people..just a joke

2007-02-09T20:31:00.000-05:00

Brenda says I need to post something else....blame her....BIG GRIN

STUD ROOSTER
A farmer went out one day and bought a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop. The new rooster struts over to the old rooster and says, "OK old fart, time for you to retire."

The old rooster replies, "Come on, surely you cannot handle ALL of these chickens. Look what it has done to me. Can't you just let me have the two old hens over in the corner?" The young rooster says, "Beat it: You are washed up and I am taking over."

The old rooster says, "I tell you what, young stud. I will race you around the farmhouse. Whoever wins gets the exclusive domain over the entire chicken coop." The young rooster laughs. "You know you don't stand a chance, old man. So, just to be fair, I will give you a head start." The old rooster takes off running. About 15 seconds later the young rooster takes off running after him. They round the front porch of the farmhouse and the young rooster has closed the gap. He is only about 5 feet behind the old rooster and gaining fast. The farmer, meanwhile, is sitting in his usual spot on the front porch when he sees the roosters running by. He grabs his shotgun and - BOOM - he blows the young rooster to bits.

The farmer sadly shakes his head and says, "Darn.....third gay rooster I bought this month."

Moral of this story? ....
Don't mess with the OLD ONES - age, skill, and treachery will overcome
youth and arrogance, everytime!

Great Parent Joke!

2007-01-21T19:31:00.000-05:00

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed nicely made up and everything neat and tidy.

Then he saw an envelope propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, "Dad". With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:

Dear Dad,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I' m writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with you and Mom.

I've been finding real passion with Joan and she is so nice. I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos, her tight motorcycle clothes and because she is so much older than I am, but it's not only the passion, Dad, she's pregnant.

Joan says that we are going to be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood, enough for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.

Joan has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it and trading it with the other people in the commune for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.

In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Joan can get better; she sure deserves it!

Don't worry Dad, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.

Your son, Chad

P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report card that's in my desk drawer.

I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home.

--if you liked this joke...leave a simple word or two..thanks

New York City ????

2007-01-18T19:51:00.000-05:00

Hi,

We are planning a summer trip to NYC and would like your advice as to places to stay and see.

Thanks

Merry Christmas to you...and you...and you...and you !

2006-12-23T19:21:00.000-05:00

What a fantastic time of year!!!

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays

How to draw a woman.....

2006-12-08T17:54:00.000-05:00

This is amazing---

Click here and watch a woman being drawn from the inside out...really cool

http://fcmx.net/vec/get.swf?i=003702

Tell me what you think.

Danger - Old Man

2006-12-04T14:22:00.000-05:00

An older, white haired man walked into a jewelry store one Friday evening
with a beautiful young gal at his side. He told the jeweler he was looking
for a special ring for his girlfriend. The jeweler looked through his stock
and brought out a $5,000 ring and showed it to him.

The old man said, "I don't think you understand, I want something VERY
special." At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and
brought another ring over.

"Here's a stunning ring at only $40,000," the jeweler said. The young
lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement. The old
man, seeing this said, "We'll take it." The jeweler asked how payment
would be made and the old man stated, by check. "I know you need to make
sure my check is good, so I'll write it now and you can call the bank Monday
to verify the funds and I'll pick the ring up Monday afternoon," he said.

Monday morning, a very teed-off jeweler phoned the old man.

"There's no money in that account."

"I know," said the old man, "but can you imagine the weekend I had?"

Some seniors still have a very sharp mind.....I know a couple....smile.

Lawyer Joke

2006-12-02T10:12:00.000-05:00

A lawyer in New Orleans sought an FHA loan for a client. He was told the loan would be granted if he could prove satisfactory title to a parcel of property being offered as collateral. The title to the property dated back to 1803, which took the lawyer three months to track down. After sending the information to the FHA, he received the following reply. (Actual letter):

"Upon review of your letter adjoining your client's loan application, we note that the request is supported by an Abstract of Title. While we compliment the able manner in which you have prepared and presented the application, we must point out that you have only cleared title to the proposed collateral property back to 1803. Before final approval can be accorded, it will be necessary to clear the title back to its origin."

Annoyed, the lawyer responded as follows (actual letter): "Your letter regarding title in Case No. 189156 has been received. I note that you wish to have title extended further than the 194 years covered by the present application. I was unaware that any educated person in this country, particularly those working in the property area, would not know that Louisiana was purchased, by the U.S., from France in1803, the year of origin identified in our application. For the edification of uninformed FHA bureaucrats, the title to the land prior to U.S. ownership was obtained from France, which had acquired it by Right of Conquest from Spain. The land came into the possession of Spain by Right of Discovery made in the year 1492 by a sea captain named Christopher Columbus, who had been granted the privilege of seeking a new trade route to India by the Spanish monarch, Isabella. The good queen, Isabella, being a pious woman and almost as careful about titles as the FHA, took the precaution of securing the blessing of the Pope before she sold her jewels to finance Columbus' expedition. Now the Pope, as I'm sure you may know, is the emissary of Jesus Christ, the Son of God, and God, it is commonly accepted, created this world. Therefore , I believe it is safe to presume that God also made that part of the world called Louisiana. God, therefore, would be the owner of origin and His origins date back, to before the beginning of time, the world as we know it AND the FHA. I hope you find God's original claim to be satisfactory. Now, may we have our loan?"

...and yes....

The loan was approved

For the Love of God!

2006-11-30T22:58:00.000-05:00

PotatoStew has a great post here

The comments by Joel are really good. I continue to learn from some great minds.

True or False...you decide what is important

2006-11-27T23:21:00.000-05:00

An early Merry Christmas---

click here

I believe this to be an important blog subject.

Thank you for our freedom to celebrate all holidays.

Flat tax with a cap.

2006-11-25T21:48:00.000-05:00

I would like to see America have a simple flat tax. Hold onto homeowner deductions for interest, charity donations and maybe a couple of others. Near zero taxation for those earning less than $15,000 with a sliding increase to a flat percentage for those from $30,000 and up. When the income exceeds $500,000 then reverse the rate to lower percentages so as to free up capital for expansion...therefore more jobs. What rate...I hear 12% would equal what our current system generates and I may be off.

I don't think it will ever happen because the IRS, public accounting and the legal profession would never support such a simple idea.

So....You Hate Your Job....This should Help!!!

2006-11-23T23:23:00.000-05:00

When you have an "I Hate My Job" day, try this. On your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the thermometer section and purchase a rectal thermometer. You know the one.

When you get home, lock your doors, draw the curtains and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed. Change into very comfortable clothing and sit in your favorite chair. Open the package and remove the thermometer.

Now, carefully place it on a table or a surface so that it will not become chipped or broken. Now the fun part begins.

Take out the literature and read it carefully. You will notice that in small print there is a statement, "Every Rectal Thermometer is personally tested".

Close your eyes and repeat out loud five times, "I am so glad I do not work in the Thermometer quality control."

HAVE A NICE DAY AND REMEMBER......Someone out there really does have a pain in the butt job....but not you.

Feel better? I thought so... :)

ALIENS ARE COMING!!!

2006-11-20T19:32:00.000-05:00

ALIENS ARE COMING TO ABDUCT ALL THE GOOD
LOOKING AND SEXY PEOPLE.

IF YOU ARE READING THIS NOW.....YOU WILL BE SAFE, I'M JUST POSTING TO SAY GOODBYE.

Ya BIG DUMMY!

2006-11-18T19:40:00.000-05:00

SAND & STONE

TWO FRIENDS WERE WALKING
THROUGH THE DESERT.
DURING SOME POINT OF THE
JOURNEY, THEY HAD AN
ARGUMENT; AND ONE FRIEND
SLAPPED THE OTHER ONE
IN THE FACE.
THE ONE WHO GOT SLAPPED
WAS HURT, BUT WITHOUT
SAYING ANYTHING,
WROTE IN THE SAND:

TODAY MY BEST FRIEND
SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE.

THEY KEPT ON WALKING,
UNTIL THEY FOUND AN OASIS,
WHERE THEY DECIDED
TO TAKE A BATH.

THE ONE WHO HAD BEEN
SLAPPED GOT STUCK IN THE
MIRE AND STARTED DROWNING,
BUT THE FRIEND SAVED HIM.

AFTER HE RECOVERED FROM
THE NEAR DROWNING,
HE WROTE ON A STONE:

TODAY MY BEST FRIEND
SAVED MY LIFE.

THE FRIEND WHO HAD SLAPPED
AND SAVED HIS BEST FRIEND
ASKED HIM, "AFTER I HURT YOU,
YOU WROTE IN THE SAND AND NOW,
YOU WRITE ON A STONE, WHY?"

THE OTHER FRIEND REPLIED
"WHEN SOMEONE HURTS US
WE SHOULD WRITE IT DOWN
IN SAND WHERE WINDS OF
FORGIVENESS CAN ERASE IT AWAY.
BUT, WHEN SOMEONE DOES
SOMETHING GOOD FOR US,
WE MUST ENGRAVE IT IN STONE
WHERE NO WIND
CAN EVER ERASE IT."

LEARN TO WRITE
YOUR HURTS IN
THE SAND AND TO
CARVE YOUR
BENEFITS IN STONE.

THEY SAY IT TAKES A
MINUTE TO FIND A SPECIAL
PERSON, AN HOUR TO
APPRECIATE THEM, A DAY
TO LOVE THEM, BUT THEN
AN ENTIRE LIFE
TO FORGET THEM.

DO NOT VALUE THE THINGS
YOU HAVE IN YOUR LIFE, BUT VALUE
WHO YOU HAVE IN YOUR LIFE !

Daddy's Gonna

2006-11-16T20:03:00.000-05:00

Daddy's Gonna Eat Your Fingers

This one is worth passing on... This one is for everyone who:
a) has kids
b) had kids
c) was a kid
d) knows a kid
e) is going to have kids

I was packing for my business trip and my 3-year old daughter
Was having a wonderful time playing on the bed. At one point she said,
"Daddy, look at this," and stuck out two of her fingers. Trying to
keep her entertained, I reached out and stuck her tiny fingers in my mouth
and said, "Daddy's gonna eat your fingers!" pretending to eat them before I
rushed out of the room again. When I returned, my daughter was standing
on the bed staring at her fingers with a devastated look on her face.
I said, "What's wrong, honey?"
She replied, "What happened to my booger?"

Artificial Intelligence and Data Mining

2006-11-11T23:30:00.000-05:00

I would like to meet with some locals that enjoy working with AI and datamining.
Who are they?

Stock Market Nov. 10 looking forward

2006-11-10T18:26:00.000-05:00

I am still in the OEX 640 puts with a cost of $1.50 and currently bidding $1.80.
The puts have been as high as $2.80 in the past couple of days.

It was not my intent to still own them over the weekend due to expiration Friday being Nov. 17. They will start to drop in value unless the market goes down.

Plenty of econ news due out Tues...very little Monday. I really don't have a prediction for Monday. (hoping a little down movement..but that is a hope and not a guess.... :) )

Dianne Bellamy-Small is not the N&R LEAK

2006-11-10T09:29:00.000-05:00

Dianne Bellamy-Small did not give the copy of the RMA report to the news and record as per JR at his site. here

JR says---"Meanwhile, Bellamy-Small continues to say that the News & Record can "clear" her of being the source. "

Meblogin asks JR--- "Logic would indicate that DBS did not provide the information to the N&R. Why? She gave them permission to clear her name. If she had demanded their confidentiality months ago..then she has now released them from their obligation and JR would have no reason to not tell the world that it was not her.

Can JR's copy be taken legally and he still maintain his silence about who the source was?

Jaycee thinks-- "Catch 22. Bellamy-Small knows that JR will not release the source, no matter what. Jr does not want to release the source, even with permission, because it will look like he's caving in to the public who thinks he should release the name. To do so would violate JR's principles. So Bellamy-Small is free to "give him permission" knowing he won't do it. This protects him and her.
Just a theory, anyway, but very possible."

JR answers--- "jaycee, if our source releases us from our commitment, I have no problem saying who gave it to us.

I guess that answers one part of this mystery with a special thanks to JR and Jaycee.

thanks

HOMELESS IN GREENSBORO....THAT STINKS

2006-11-08T23:51:00.000-05:00

I have been reading here and learning about our fine city having an abundance of homeless people that have no shelter with winter upon us. WHY?

Folks, I read all sorts of topics about this and that...get into debates about some real silly stuff that REALLY does not matter. This matters...or does it? Does this matter to you? If so...speak up...if not... (loss for words...) Will you help? Will you contribute either time, money or both? How about some brain power??...I know..short supply in blogsboro...grin.

Simple question--- Why are we not applying our combined resources to solve this problem using our Greensboro and surrounding blogging community? WHY?

Can this problem be solved? How? What is needed?

If it can't be solved, please share why! Am I uneducated on this topic? YES...

Thank you,

PS...Why was this not a bond topic? ...sigh... Wouldn't you rather fix this one than some of the others? I would.

Stock Market Prediction for Tues Nov. 7

2006-11-06T22:00:00.000-05:00

I believe the market will be choppy to down tomorrow for election day.

I tried to buy 640 puts on the OEX but was not filled. I tried at $2.90.