Buying a husband

Got this joke in email this morning....good to start the week with laughter--

The Husband Store

A brand new store has just opened in New York City that sells Husbands. When women go to choose a husband, they have to follow the instructions at the entrance:- "You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are 6 floors and the value of the products increase as you ascend the flights. You may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you CANNOT go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.

On the 1st floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men have jobs.

The 2nd floor sign reads: Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

The 3rd floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids and are extremely good looking.

"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the 4th floor and the sign reads: Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help with Housework.

"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"

Still, she goes to the 5th floor and sign reads: Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, help with Housework and Have A Strong Romantic Streak. She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the 6th floor and the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opens a New Wives store just across the street.

The 1st floor has wives that love sex.

The 2nd ! floor has wives that love sex and have money.

The 3rd through 6th floors have never been visited.

The Trippiest Optical Illusions on the 'Net

Follow this link to a very cool visual.

PURE BULL... :)

A farmer went to the local Bank to borrow money for a new bull.

The loan was made and Banker Bill, who lent the money, came by a week later to see how the bull was doing.

The farmer complained that the bull just ate grass and wouldn't even look at a cow. Banker Bill suggested that he have a veterinarian take a look at the bull.

Next week Banker Bill returned to see if the vet had helped.

The farmer looked very pleased. "The bull has serviced all of my cows! He even broke through the fence, and bred all my neighbor's cows! He's been breeding just about everything in sight. He's like a machine!"

"Wow," said Banker Bill , "what did the vet do to that bull?"

"Just gave him some pills," replied the farmer.

"What kind of pills?" asked Banker Bill .

"I don't know, but they kind of taste like peppermint."

CONSERVE WATER NOW OR .....

I got this in my email today....thought it was progressive for Greensboro to advertise using email. My guess is that my blog is not well read. :)

Here is the text from the email----

Hi,

The City of Greensboro has produced four ads promoting water conservation and we are seeking low- or no-cost ways to share the information with the community. I know that your blog is well-read in Greensboro, and if you can place one or more of our ads on your blog, we can be sure that we reach even more people with the message that conservation is vital during this statewide drought.

I have attached the ads for your convenience. We sincerely appreciate any assistance you can provide.

Elaine Tricoli, Interim Communications Manager
Public Affairs Department
City of Greensboro
PO Box 3136, Greensboro, NC 27402
Ph: (336) 373-2421 Fax: (336) 373-4656
www.greensboro-nc.gov

Conserve water now.

A Poem That Gives You Goosebumps... and might make you find a tear

A Poem That Gives You Goosebumps... and might make you find a tear....meblogin added :)

(got this in email today)


A drunk man in an Oldsmobile
They said had run the light

That caused the six-car pileup
On 109 that night.

When broken bodies lay about
And blood was everywhere,

The sirens screamed out eulogies,
For death was in the air.

A mother, trapped inside her car,
Was heard above the noise;

Her plaintive plea near split the air:
"Oh, God, please spare my boys!"

She fought to loose her pinned hands; She struggled to get free,

But mangled metal held her fast
In grim captivity.

Her frightened eyes then focused
On where the back seat once had been,

But all she saw was broken glass and Two children's seats crushed in.

Her twins were nowhere to be seen;
She did not hear them cry,



And then she prayed they'd been thrown free, "Oh, God, don't let them die! "

Then firemen came and cut her loose, But when they searched the back,

They found therein no little boys, But the seat belts were intact.

They thought the woman had gone mad And was traveling alone,

But when they turned to question her, They discovered she was gone.

Policemen saw her running wild And screaming above the noise

In beseeching supplication, "Please help me find my boys!

They're four years old and wear blue shirts; Their jeans are blue to match."

One cop spoke up, "They're in my car, And they don't have a scratch.

They said their daddy put them thereAnd gave them each a cone,

Then told them both to wait for Mom
To come and take them home.

I've searched the area high and low, But I can't find their dad.

He must have fled the scene, I guess, and that is very bad."

The mother hugged the twins and said, "While wiping at a tear,

"He could not flee the scene, you see, For he's been dead a year."

The cop just looked confused and asked, "Now, how can that be true? "

The boys said, ""Mommy, Daddy came And left a kiss for you."

He told us not to worryAnd that you would be all right,

And then he put us in this car with
The pretty, flashing light.

We wanted him to stay with us, Because we miss him so,

But Mommy, he just hugged us tight
And said he had to go.

He said someday we'd understand
And told us not to fuss,

"And he said to tell you, Mommy,
He's watching over us."

The mother knew without a doubt
That what they spoke was true,

For she recalled their dad's last words, " I will watch over you."

The firemen's notes could not explain The twisted, mangled car,

And how the three of them escaped
Without a single scar.

But on the cop's report was scribed, In print so very fine,

An angel walked the beat tonight on Highway 109.

"The 7 Second Prayer, Just repeat this phrase and see how God moves.

"Lord, I love you and I need you, come into my heart, and bless my

family, my home, my friends, and me. Amen. "

Gardner-Garity

Question- If several policemen meet and then at a later date tell the same fictitious story to a civilian investigative agency...have they broken any laws where they can be prosecuted or are they protected from prosecution?

Is it correct that someone can lie while being interviewed and be protected from prosecution or even being fired due to Gardner-Garity?

Regardless of Gardner-Garity has a law been broken if someone chooses to lie to a private detective when being interviewed?

thanks